This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
The feeling are messing with the penis
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
