you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
