Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize