You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
