summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
