I'm so fucking centered right now
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
