how can u be prego again
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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