just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
