Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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