Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize