Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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