me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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