it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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