the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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