Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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