I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
