bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
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