Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
wow bdsm is so cute
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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