Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
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