South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
