there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
