Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
