I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
