and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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