College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
my liver is dry heaving
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I'm like, not good at living.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
