The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I licked your asshole in confidence.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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