we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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