PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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