if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Randomize
