i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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