I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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