So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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