Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
