Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Houston, we have a blender
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
