Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
