he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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