I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I just googled if crying burns calories
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
