i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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