I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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