I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
