tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
