508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
