I think im going to throw up on grandma
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
