champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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