I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize