Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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