I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
