He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
