We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
