I met the friendliest cop last night
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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