she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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