She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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