first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
